Doing Nothing Feels Like Control

It’s never nice reflecting on the things that you would like to work on, is it? 

The areas of work, business or just as a human - that you’re not good at AND need to improve on to reach your goals. 

Despite how it sometimes appears to people online, I can struggle with the tendency to get stuck / paralysed with work. 

Because I like the feeling of control - and control means knowing exactly how things will play out in 9 steps time, if I do the thing today. 

I can plan it, prep it, rehearse it

But if there’s no guarantee of the outcome? 

I struggle to get started. 

Which is very bad if you’re creative or pushing boundaries - because to do that, you can only do things you haven’t done (or maybe no one is doing) 

So you can’t cling to any sense of certainty, because it doesn’t exist. 

Our brain still creates control - by making us do nothing.

To do nothing, you know exactly how you’ll feel.

It’s similar to when clients ‘self sabotage’ by eating a lot more than they’d like, even if they’d love to not do that because they have other goals.

It’s still horrible - but you are certain how you’ll feel.

It’s the only move with a guaranteed result

What annoys me most? Things usually turn out fine, even when I do next to nothing

But fine was never the goal

Two ways I try and help myself with this? 

I remind myself that this comes from a strength - my ability to think 10 steps up and down the chain helps me identify people’s behaviour change issues, and where business owners could change to grow to a certain point. 

So I acknowledge that my paralysis is a worthwhile trade-off for a huge strength in my skillset. 

The other thing I try and do is be curious when the paralysis does hit - and try and notice when I want control.

Even doing this helps me acknowledge that my dream work, or dream life - don’t have much in common with the kind of work that provides certain outcomes. 

Which helps me act accordingly based on that information